REVIEW : Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)

It was back in June 2014, when I went for a premiere screening of The Fault in Our Stars, that I first saw the trailer for Kingsman. It had all the right notes to get me excited : witty dialogue, men in well-tailored suits, super secret spies, and class that is only attributed to the English, all wrapped up in one nice bundle. I remember turning to my friend and whispered "I WANT to watch that movie", to which she nodded excitedly. 

Fast forward to about eight months later, it's finally here. And all I can say is: it was worth the wait.

Kingsman tells the story of well, Kingsman, a super secret spy organisation based in the UK with their agents dressed in bespoke suits and having code-names derived from the Knights of the Round Table. The Kingsmen are the modern-day knights. 

Gary "Eggsy" Unwin (Taron Egerton) is a street kid who grew up in a broken family and an abusive stepdad. While he started out life with so much potential, he eventually decided to just waste his life away with petty crime without a life goal in sight. But his life gets a chance to do a 180 when he is recruited by Harry Hart, code man "Galahad" (Colin Firth), to compete with other candidates in order to become a Kingsman agent. While part of the film is about the candidates' training, a much greater threat looms in the background in the form of billionaire philanthropist Richmond Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson), who talks with a lisp, favours baseballs caps and McDonald's, all the while planning to wipe out most of the human population in order to save the world. 

"Wiping out the human race to save the world? Trust me, it totally works."

A quick look at director Matthew Vaughn's filmography, you'll see that this man have worked on some really fine films, films that I completely adore. Stardust (2007), Kick-Ass (2010), and of course X-Men First Class (2011) and Days of Future Past (2014).

Now before these two X-Men movies came out, I don't remember ever being a fan. I do remember being dragged to the cinema, by my parents, when I was a kid, against my will, to watch the previous X-Men movies. Obviously kid-me was not a fan. BUT post-First Class me? Total convert. So you can easily see what a special place Vaughn's X-Men movies have in my heart. Thus, I was even more pumped up for Kingsman when I knew that Vaughn was going to be on it. I have faith in him. 

And I was not wrong. 

Kingsman excels in all the genre it is labelled under. Spy? With all the cool gadgets and save-the-world, check. Comedy? With the funny dialogues, hilarious Easter eggs in the form of silly front-pages of newspapers, as well as more than one scene that made everyone cackle with laughter, chee-ack. Action? With all the well-choreographed fight scenes, featuring a single man in a tailored suit taking down an entire mob of enemies,

Check with an A-star on the side.

A true Kingsman's wardrobe

Now one of the high points of Kingsman, which I love, was the road it decided to take. Kingsman is a spy movie while at the same time a mild parody of all the spy movies out there. Unlike the Bond films featuring Daniel Craig, it was clear from the very beginning at the opening credits that this movie was not going to take itself too seriously; it wans't afraid of making fun of itself. I mean, you have heads that literally explode like into fireworks, and Galahad's stuffed dog that watches over him whenever he decides to take a dump. 

Is Kingsman ridiculous? At times, yes. Is that a bad thing? Absolutely not. The ridiculousness worked in the movie's favour and without it, Kingsman wouldn't be what it is. When Kingsman decides to be silly, it's one heck of a fun ride.

Because OF COURSE everyone wants to know Brad Pitt ate your sandwich

One thing that that kindda bugs me was the fact that in all the posters I've seen of Kingsman, none of them featured Taron Egerton's name. The ones that are on the posters are Michael Caine, Colin Firth and Samuel L. Jackson. But I guess I know where they're going with this. Prior to Kingsman, Egerton is practically a nobody while the other three are big, BIG names, all with multiple awards under their belts. And while some might argue that having his face in the centre of attention of the posters was enough, but I still think that it would have been nicer if his name was written there as well. I mean, give the guy some credit, right? Egerton was excellent in this film. 

And Mark Strong too. He had a pretty huge role as Merlin, as the person who works behind the screen. Here's an idea. Maybe they should take out Michael Caine and stuff the two other names in? He appeared less frequent than either Egerton or Strong.

But whatever, that's just a little rant of mine over something insignificant. 

"It's a bulldog, innit?"

Nonetheless, the cast did an excellent job of bringing Kingman alive. Whether it's Colin Firth as the mentor, Taron Egerton as a brutish street kid or a refined Kingsman, and also Samuel L. Jackson as the antagonist that doesn't quite fit into your usual bad-guy mold.

As long as you're not put off by the gratuitous violence (which mostly ends up being hilarious and entertaining in this film), do watch Kingsman. You're in for some super happy fun times. 

"My name is Hart, Harry Hart."

I rate it : 8/10 stars

THE GOOD : ALL the fight scenes; the overall style; Samuel L. Jackson as the eccentric bad guy; this movie is an absolute joy to sit through

THE BAD : The beginning can be a little bit slow; some parts of the film are predictable; violence can be off-putting to some (although I assure you, there's very little blood and gore)

WATCH IT IF YOU...

• ...are sick of the somber British spy. (I'm looking at you, Daniel Craig-era James Bond)
• ...are eager to renew your faith in dem classy English spies.
• ...like something that's intense, shocking, heart-pumping, and very, very funny.
• ...want to watch Colin Firth take down an entire mob, one angry person after another, in a variety of very colourful ways 

KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE (2015)

Genre : Spy Action Comedy

Runtime : 129 minutes

Director : Matthew Vaughn

Cast : Taron Egerton, Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Strong, Michael Caine

REVIEW : Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Oh boy. If there ever was a train-wreck, it'd probably look something like Jupiter Ascending. I had pretty high hopes when I saw the first trailer, but dread started to set in as a few more of them came out and by the time I went into the cinemas, I wasn't really sure where to set my expectations at.

Too much space? Kindda.

I'm not sure where to start with explaining how Jupiter Ascending works. But I'm going to try my best to make the plot summary not convoluted. So here we go:

Mila Kunis plays Jupiter Jones whose astrology may tell her that she was born destined for greater things, but in in reality she is stuck with waking up at 4.45am every day for a job that involves scrubbing other people's toilets. But as it turns out, her genetic code happens to be exactly the same as the late Abrasax matriarch, which makes her a royalty and heir to the Earth. The movie calls this phenomenon a 'Recurrence'. 

Now the Abrasax family are really more like capitalist royalties than (actual) royalties, whose business involves harvesting living beings to produce regenerative youth serums that would allow them to live forever. In the case of Earth, humans are the ones that are to be harvested. After the death of the matriarch, the Abrasax family is survived by three members: Balem (Eddie Redmayne), Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) and Titus (Douglas Booth). Earth, being the more valuable planet of them all, is inherited by Balem (that is without Jupiter in the picture) while the other two siblings are left pining over it. In short, they all pretty much hate each other.

Naturally, everything is set off balance when Jupiter enters the picture. Now Balem wants her killed, Kalique wants to be "friends" with her, and Titus wants to marry her. All of them send their own hunters to track her down, and the one that Titus sends is none other than half-human, half-wolf Caine Wise(Channing Tatum).

Still with me?

Caine Wise (Tatum) here to save the day. Swoosh.

At times, Jupiter Ascending feels like the directors, The Wachowskis, decided it would be a good idea (it's not) to take elements from every fantastical space movies out there, from Thor to Guardians of the Galaxy to Star Wars and maybe even Star Trek, and condense them into one single movie. No doubt that the world they've imagined and created is rich, but sometimes it feels overbearing. And instead of letting the audience explore the world themselves, all subtlety is thrown out of the window as we're spoonfed with dialogue explaining in detail how everything works, coupled with space-fantasy lingo scattered everywhere. Let's just say, the expositions are just eugh.

Save for a few funny one-liners, the writing in Jupiter Ascending really isn't that great. Characters in this film are as typical and two-dimensional as they can be. Jupiter being the typical female lead heroine who acts like she's a twelve-year-old girl; Caine being the typical broody, badass hero with a dark past and skeletons in his closets; Balem being that quiet Big Evil that has very loud outbursts once in a while; and Titus being the Ken doll lookalike who hides a knife behind that smile. The love story between Caine and Jupiter is cringe-worthy, all thanks to the corny lines that Mila Kunis has to deliver. I still shudder when I think of it. 

Douglas Booth needs to bring his beard back ASAP

I'm not going to lie, when the movie first began, I thought it was pretty decent. It captured my interest for about a half hour or so, and then things just went downhill. I don't remember how many times I've caught myself yawning, or cringing, or thinking to myself, 'Why does Jupiter seem so calm and okay with this? I don't imagine how anyone could so easily accept something so bizarre in such a short time.' There may have been a couple of times when I just threw my hands into the air and whispered 'For the love of god'. However, when I REALLY think about it, the plot is actually quite okay. It's as bad as what was shown on screen. But it's the horrific writing that makes it almost un-watchable. Who knows, maybe if the same thing was put in the hands of some other writer and director, perhaps Jupiter Ascending could have turned out decent.

The only thing that's really worth praising I guess are of course the CGI special effects which are definitely impressive, such as a few large scenes on a magnificent scale. The sets are of course grand, especially in the case of Titus's and Kalique's respective space homes. Gotta give the set designers props(geddit?) for that. Not only that, some of the costumes worn in this film were beautiful, from Jupiter's gown you see in the trailer to Titus's sleek suits, to Kalique's dress that slightly reminds me of Taylor Swift's during the Grammys.

But really, the writing in Jupiter Ascending completely ruined it. Trust me, besides the fantastical space elements and cool CGI, this movie has nothing to impress. Well, save for maybe a topless Channing Tatum. That's always a welcome.

Who needs clothes when you're Channing Tatum? Amirite or amirite?

Oh, by the way. Sean Bean's in this movie too, if you don't know, and spoiler alert: he doesn't die.

I rate it : 3/10 stars

THE GOOD : Cool CGI, set designs and costumes are nice.

THE BAD : Bad, bad writing which results in bad everything, e.g : characters, storyline, dialogue etc.

WATCH IT IF YOU...

• ...are a true fan of the fantasy sci-fi action genre
• ...don't mind being spoonfed with explanations on how everything works in movieland.
• ...can stand corny dialogue. And when I mean corny, I mean a total cringefest. 
• ...are in the mood for a terrible movie.

JUPITER ASCENDING (2015) 

Genre: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Action

Runtime : 127 minutes
Director : Lana Wachowski , Andy Wachowski

Cast :  Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Tuppence Middleton, Douglas Booth

REVIEW : Triumph in the Skies - 衝上雲霄 (2015)

Even if you are not an avid fan of TVB series, but if you have an inkling about it's existence, then I guarantee that at the very least, you've heard about the series known as Triumph in the Skies (衝上雲霄). Premiered back in 2003, (that's 12 years mind you, not 7) it garnered a HUGE, MASSIVE following and instantly turned everyone's biggest wish into something along the lines of 'I want to be a pilot'. This in turn lead to a sequel, Triumph in the Skies II that was released in 2013 which, once more, made people want to do nothing but register themselves into a flying academy.

#squadgoals

Now, I was only a kid when the first season came out, and I watched it, and I remember loving it. However, 12 years is a very long time so all that's left in my memory is a bit of a haze; all I remember are bits and pieces, random scenes from it. And for reasons that I don't really know, I never watched the second one despite loving the first. So I wouldn't call myself a fan of the series. 12 years is more than enough for me to get over something. 

What I'm trying to say is: I went in not as a fan, with a bit of an expectation that it would be good due to the fanfare surrounding it. 

Triumph (I would have used acronyms, but I've come to realise that it would make me dissolve into a puddle of giggling fits) would have made you think that like the TV shows it was based on, is about pilots and flying and airplanes. But you would be surprised at how little time is actually spent in the plane. The majority of the film is spent instead, in London and Brighton. 

The film mainly tells the story of three pairs of couple; pilot as well as owner of Skylette Airlines, Branson (Louis Koo 古天乐) and air-stewardess Ah Sze (Charmaine Sheh 佘诗曼); Captain Samuel Tong (Francis Ng 吴镇宇) and rock star cum diva TM (Sammi Cheng 郑秀文); Jayden AKA Captain Cool (Julien Cheung AKA Chilam 张智霖) and the character played by Amber Kuo (郭采洁).

(Here's a little rant: I don't remember Amber's character ever being named in the movie. I swear. It's either they really never did tell us because they never filmed a scene of introduction for her or they edited that scene out, or it may have completely left my mind, I don't know. But wiki tells me it's Kika, so Kika it is. Anyway, I digress.)

As I've said, if you're going into this movie, expecting or hoping it's about flying, I recommend that you turn away and save yourself the money. Because this is less a film about the aviation business, it's more of a romantic film served in an anthology format. However, that's not my biggest gripe with this film. Oh no. Triumph is also less of a movie and more like a 100-minute long commercial or music video. This is especially true in the beginning of the film where a lot is shown about nothing, progression for first part of the movie is basically stagnant. This may be the fault of the writers for not writing enough concrete dialogue with actual substance to push the plot forward, or maybe it's the editors, who chopped up scenes then glued them back together without minding the cohesiveness of the story as a whole. The thing is, an-hour into the movie and you'd feel like you just spent an hour watching nothing. 

Those commercials that you see on TV during the festive seasons (CNY, Hari Raya etc) have more plot that this movie.

You have a lot of beautiful shots of the grass fields in UK, the beach and the famous Brighton Pier, but then throughout the entire movie, it feels like there's a laughingly atrocious filter over most of the scenes. The amount of post-production work and editing that was done is overwhelming, to say the least. It's almost like someone in the post-production office decided that it would be a good idea to apply every single filter they find on MeiTu or Instagram.

The funniest example of this would be in the early part of the film when Captain Cool first meets Kika. I'm not sure what the team behind this film was going with it, but the moment they locked eyes, the scene gets painted with a psychedelic brush and Kika's greeting of "Cofee, tea, or me?" echoes one too many times for comfort. 

Coffee, tea, or me or me or me or me or me or me

Another thing that irks me are the product placements. Look, I have no qualms if a film casually shows us a glance of an iPhone or just putting a MacBook in the back of the scene, but Triumph show us bottles of water with the packaging so blatantly in our faces, and even lingers on the face of a watch long enough for the audience to feel like something's off; it makes me feel exploited. There's even one part of it where I had to ask myself whether if I was watching a movie or an ad for Samsung smartphones. 

But Triumph is not without any good in it. The cinematography is indeed beautiful and when a scene is done right sans filter, you'd find yourself sighing in awe how gorgeous everything is. There are also a few scenes that redeem the movie slightly. My favourite will have to be that one scene where Captain Cool and Kika dressing up as Harry Potter and Hermione for photos. At least there was something in the entire movie that I found to be thoroughly enjoyable. (Even if right before that was a flagrant PP for JD.com)

Too cute. I kenot.

I rate it : 5/10 stars

THE GOOD : All-star cast that are all pretty good eye-candies; later part of the movie is decent as the plot remembers to move

THE BAD : Eyeroll-worthy filters and effects; PP that is even more nauseating; the early part of the movie decides to take too-long of a hibernation

WATCH IT IF YOU...

• ...are a HUGE fan of the series
• ...are not scared of pretty faces
• ...really want to join into the 'in' club with members who have all watched this movie
• ...don't mind a plotless romantic movie
• ...just want to watch Chi Lam which to me, is a good enough reason by itself.

TRIUMPH IN THE SKIES -  衝上雲霄 (2015)  

Genre: Romantic Drama

Runtime : 100 minutes
Director : Wilson Yip, Matt Chow

Starring : Louis Koo, Sammi Cheng, Francis Ng, Julian Cheung, Charmaine Sheh, Amber Kuo