That One Time I Decided to Marathon All Six Fast & Furious Movies

Warning : there may be spoilers.

Don't shoot me, but up until a couple of days ago, I have never watched a single movie in the Fast & Furious franchise. I never watched the first one maybe it's because I was too young for it when it came out; I didn't watch Tokyo Drift because of reasons I don't know/remember; I didn't watch Fast Five because well, I've never watched the previous four and I didn't feel like starting then.

I gave the same excuse when people asked me if I would want to watch the latest installment. I wasn't planning to watch it because I'm not the type of person who would watch a sequel before or without watching the previous movie. If Furious 7 has six movies before it, then if I was ever going to watch it, it would mean I have to go through all six movies before it. It's a principle I hold true to, one that I don't like to break.

But peer pressure, it's a scary, scary thing. When almost every one you know has watched F7 and that's all they'd talk about. Well, let's just say it's one hell of a motivation. And you know, I have this movie blog thing going on, to not have a foot in something that's so popular would be a crime, if not an outright sin.

So eventually, I gave into the pressure and bought tickets to watch Furious 7. But because of who I am, it meant I have a couple of days to go from The Fast and the Furious (2001) to Fast & Furious 6 (2013). Since each movie is about two hours long, I figured it was going to take me about 12-hours before I could sit for what might be the final movie in the Fast & Furious franchise.


9th April 2015 at 8:50 – started watching The Fast and the Furious that came out 14 years ago; back when Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker) had curly hair and Mia Toretto (Jordana Brewster) looking like Nina Dobrev's doppelganger. Oh not to mention the abomination that is software UI from Y2K. And back when floppy disks was still an actual thing and not just an icon.

Year 2001, when everything was sepia-toned.

So a quick summary of what it's all about if you don't already know: Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) runs a garage with his crew while racing cars on the side, but in reality they rob trucks of electronic equipments. (DVD players and the likes) Brian O'Conner is an undercover cop who is tasked to infiltrate the crew for their criminal evidence. It's the same old thing in the same old book. At the end of the movie, Dominic's many speeches on family pays off when Brian lets him escape.

Perhaps back in the days this movie would have been the coolest blockbuster to have ever been released. However, watching it now in the year 2015, I just find it hilarious. For one, the dialogue made me laugh out loud in more than one occasion.

Brian : Hey man. He was in my face.
Dominic : I'm in your face.

But hey, it was the year 2001, so I'll give it a break.


10:33 – Started 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003). I used to think that was a genius idea for a title. I'm sorry. What can I say, I was a kid.

Almost everyone from the first movie is gone, save for Brian. After letting Dom escape, he has lost his job as a cop and now has to make a living by street-racing. Things are not that bad since he's pretty good at it, earning himself a wicked street name 'Bullitt'. But when US Customs takes him in, he is given a deal: his criminal records for one undercover job to bring down Carter Verone (Cole Hauser).

Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) AKA my favourite person in the entire series, enters the game when Brian seeks him out to be his partner in his mission. He's the comic relief without being cringe-worthy; in this type of film, it's a hard gem to find.

Also in 2F2F, Ludacris as Tej Parker with so much #sweg in that afro.

13:50 – So began The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006). It's a whole new cast and boy it is a cast that is hard to sit through. The opening already had me in stitches at how unbelievable it was. Supposedly, our main guy named Sean Boswell (Lucas Black) is in high school. The thing is, every student looked too old to be in college, let alone high school. It may not be the first or only movie to have actors play charatcers that are much younger than their actual age, but this stands out like a sore thumb in Tokyo Drift.

Sorry, but Sean Boswell is not the new Brian O'Conner.

Sean here has gotten himself into a lot of trouble and to keep him from juvie, he is sent to live with his father in Tokyo, without knowing a word of Japanese during his first day in school. Even though he was warned not to go near a car, he gets mixed up in Tokyo's racing crowd which leads him to meeting a couple of friends including Han Seoul-Oh (Sung Kang), who we'll be seeing in the movies after Tokyo Drift.

A bit of a detour here: Is it me or is Han Seoul-Oh named after Han Solo?

Han Seoul-Oh, Han Solo.

This is Justin Lin's first Fast movie but so far, it's definitely the weakest one yet. It's uninspiring and all it does is make me want to punch Sean in his sorry face. He is not a likeable character, then again almost everyone in this movie isn't. It's hard to tell if this is due to poor writing or bad acting. Probably both.

Since Tokyo Drift takes place after Fast 6 but before Fast 7, personally I think it's fine if you skip this. It may be Han's first appearance in the series but there's not much of an introduction for his character. So like I said, perfectly fine if you ignore this disappointment. At least I wished that someone told me that before I jumped into the series.


At this point, I took a break. Because, you know, obligations, responsibilities, killing dragons in Skyrim. That sort of thing.


11th April 2015 at 16:40 – Managed to squeeze out a 6-hour block to carry on with the marathon. Finally we're back with the O'Conner/Toretto team in Fast & Furious (2009). -fist pump- As they say, if it ain't broken, don't fix it. The dynamic between the duo made the first movie work, and it's safe to say it pulled the franchise back from the dead that is Tokyo Drift. Granted, I'm a little hesitant to say that it's just as good or better than the first movie, but then compared to the previous one, it's definitely miles and miles better. My disgust for Tokyo Drift knows no bounds.

Brian is back as an FBI agent this time and the newest Big Bad on the radar is Arturo Braga (John Ortiz). 15 minutes into the movie, Dom receives a phone call from his sister Mia telling him that Letty has been killed. -gasp- Eventually the two brothers reunite and the movie does the thing that all Fast movies do.

#BrOTP

I'm not really sure if I like this movie though. While I don't dislike it, I don't like it either, To put it simply, Fast 4's not exactly memorable, but it's nice to see the boys back together again.


18:20 – I believe Fast Five (2011) was what revived the entire franchise. I certainly remember how everyone around me was raving about it, albeit the hype was much less than what Furious 7 is receiving now. I do see why everyone spoke so highly about it now, because it is in this movie where everyone just decided to bring out the biggest guns they had. If anything, you have two cars dragging a giant vault all around Rio, the highlight of the entire series so far.

Has anyone given thought to how strong those chains must be?!?!?!

After helping Dom escape prison, Brian and Mia team up with Vince from the first movie to hijack a train and steal some cars. Things go awry because they always have to and they always do, the team flee, and we get to see an exhilarating scene of Dom, Brian and Car leaping off a cliff then into the waters below.

You also have Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson appearing as DSS agent Luke Hobbs for the very first time, kicking Vin Diesel's ass in the process. If that doesn't convince you to watch at least Fast Five out of all the F&F movies, then perhaps the entire series won't be up your alley.

Can't touch this do dododo dodo dodo

20:30 – We're almost at the end of the line. We're sticking with the crew + agent Hobbs in Fast & Furious 6 (2013) as they head to London to take down Owen Shaw (Luke Evans). As it turns out, Letty is still alive but has lost all her memories because convenient plot device is convenient.

Of course, the crew wins in the end, although not before taking down tanks and planes. They've wiped their slate clean, everyone is a free man. Letty is back just not with her memories, the O'Conners are together and safe, the crew enjoys their usual roast party. The only loser seems to be Han as he has lost Gisele (Gal Gadot) and he's ready to head to Tokyo. If you've watched the accursed Tokyo Drift, you should be screaming at the screen now, begging Han not to go.

Sure enough, in the post-credits scene, Han dies in a fiery explosion but it is revealed that it was in fact murder by what is revealed in the next movie as Owen Shaw's big brother (Jason Statham). We've got ourselves nicely set-up for Furious 7.

"You don't know me, but you're about to."

In about 12 hours, I've seen enough babes, boobs, cars and Corona to last me a lifetime. I've heard enough smart-ass one-liners that my eyes are tired from rolling too much.  Did I learn anything? Probably something about family, but it's so cheesy that it doesn't stick that well. Am I a fan of the series after committing so much time to it? No, not really, although my heart wavered a little after watching Fast Five. Nonetheless, I'll still be going into the cinema for one last ride.

Now, time for Furious 7.